The Story Behind the Story
With the political season in over drive, I started thinking about possible changes that we might see were Donald J. Trump to become president.
This was going to be the April Pulse, but my daughter told me that I might insult some people. Then my good buddy and lifetime CPA called me a wuss for not publishing it (that hurt). So here we are.
Bike Lanes Re-imagined
Move over, bikers, limos only. Yes, we are due a respite from the ever-increasing number of green bike lanes throughout the city. The green lanes will remain green. However, they will be for limousines only. Bikers will receive a $200.00 ticket if they use them. There will be no cost to repaint lanes, and the $200.00 per ticket revenue will generate ample funds for street maintenance. Expect limo sales to soar generating even more tax revenue for city coffers. This is a win, win, win!
Who needs fancy smancy art? The Trump Art Collection will be installed and SFMOMA will be renamed SFTAC. Did you know that a trademark application was filed in 2006 for the Trump Art Collection? The trademark appears to cover a slew of art-related products including, note booklets, check booklets, autograph booklets, and totally-not-out-of-date telephone booklets.
Coit Tower Renamed
Henceforth, Coit Tower (also known as the Lillian Coit Memorial Tower) will be renamed Trump Tower. Lillian Hitchcock Coit was a wealthy socialite who loved to chase fires in the early days of the city’s history (think 1860s). Lillian’s fortune funded the monument after her death in 1929, and one apocryphal story claims that the tower was designed to resemble a fire hose nozzle. Another more recent apocryphal story claims that Trump thought the renaming was appropriate because the tower resembled a part of his anatomy.
Palace of Fine Arts Re-imagined
Welcome to the Mar-a-Lago Club of San Francisco. The Donald plans to buy the Palace from the City for $10 million (same as what he paid for Mar-a-Lago Palm Beach), but this being San Francisco, instead of creating a private club, it will be a public club for everyone (don’t sweat the details as to how exactly that will work). He will lease the club to the City for $1.00 a year. Think of it! Located next door to Crissy Field and the Marina Green, it will become a perfect setting for special events, holiday celebrations, weddings and galas, just like Mar-a-Lago in Palm Beach! Of course, the fees will skyrocket, but since all the public owns and belongs, who cares?
Other Expected Changes
Charlotte Schultz, long time Chief of the Mayor’s Office of Protocol will be fired. Her replacement will be Aaron Peskin. SFO International well be renamed Trump International with a special gate for Air Force One, Dogpatch will become Trump Patch, Pacific Heights will be Trump Heights, ATT Park will become Trump Park, and Twin Peaks will become Trump Peaks. Real estate values will soar!
Pulse of the Market – The Book
The Pulse of the Market book (edited Pulses from 2005 to 2015)
is available in paperback (Kindle version a few days off) at Amazon.com. It offers some perspectives on what has made San Francisco residential real estate tick in the past 10 years. Stay tuned.